Well I cross my heart and I hope to die

[overdoseaffliction]

If I only stay with you one more night


Prompt: I be waking up in the morning probably hating myself, I be waking up in the morning feeling satisfied but guilty as hell

Muse list HERE

Rules: Whatever the hell you want. Choose a character (preferably not my disney/dreamworks muses) and leave a starter

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THEN I SHOULD APOLOGIZE AS WELL

[bullet_holes]

It started in Costa De Sol. They had put him out to pasture, saying he needed to relax after everything. That the company could take care of everything for him. It wasn't enough, though. He'd been far away from everyone he cared about. Aerith, Cloud, Kunsel, even General Sephiroth, and Angeal, well... the less dwelled on that the better.

Sure, there were phone calls and emails, just short conversations to keep his mind off things. Most of them were Aerith asking how the beautiful weather was and Kunsel telling him to relax and take advantage of the free vacay.

And of course, there was Cissnei. She listened. She had great advice. When he asked if someone being SOLDIER would effect her opinion on them, she gave an honest answer. When he hugged her in gratitude, she never pulled away. When his lips ended up against hers, she pushed forward. When his hands trailed against her skin and settled at the hem of her shorts, she only moved closer.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. It made sense. Too much to drink, the fact that Aerith called not an hour after, it just wasn't meant to happen again.

He can't explain the other times.

When they get back to Midgar, they pretend that everything is back to normal. There's jokes between the two of them now. Zack explains it away with the fact that they'd done a lot of surfing and swimming out there. He goes on dates with Aerith, tells her he loves her. They walk the slums, he helps her sell flowers to the locals. He assumes Cissnei does whatever it is that Turks do. When they're assigned night patrol together, he doesn't even think twice about it. It's just another mission.

It is until they end up back in his place on the SOLDIER floor. He's got an arm around her and she's pressed against his chest, and this is wrong. It needs to stop. It needs to not happen again, but she's so warm here next to him and it feels right.

He thought Aerith was supposed to feel right.

He sighs, wraps his other arm around Cissnei and holds her closer. Maybe this would actually be the last time they did this.

AINT NO GETTIN OF THIS ANGST TRAIN WE'RE ON

[crimsonguarddog]

Cissnei had not meant to get into this again. But seeing how Zack moved in their patrol, having him so close and falling back onto those hours of just talking and enjoying themselves. She had put her hands on him when the woman knew she should have not and it had been over from there.

It was like having everything she wanted and even better than that, because Cissnei knows that she shouldn't. Sleeping with him had not alleviated the crush she thought it might- That she might of just wanted because someone else had it.

It was really quite the mess, and she knows it isn't helping him either.

When Zack pulls her closer Cissnei goes, shifting slightly and a ankle hooking around one of Zack's own. She looks up at the man while one hand pillows underneath her chin, exhaling slowly in satisfaction and resignation both.

"When do you have to be up?"

CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOOO CHOOOOOO

[bullet_holes]

"Eight. I have..." A date. With an incredibly sweet girlfriend who really cares about me and sells flowers for a living. "...Plans."

He swallows, opens his mouth to say something else but instead his hand only trails up her back and settles at the base of her neck. What would he say, anyways? They needed to stop? That much was obvious, but it almost felt like it wasn't an option anymore. They were too deep in whatever it was they were doing...whatever this relationship was.

What do you even call something like this?

"You doing anything tomorrow?" He forces a smile. Tries to be flirty.

[crimsonguarddog]

They should stop. Cissnei does not really want to in particular, but they should. She can tell it is there in his voice, as much as she would like to pretend not to hear it.

Her eyes fall closed as his hand slides up her back, taking the moment in. A moment later, at his question, Cissnei moves to push herself up, hair sliding over her shoulders. "Work... But aren't I always?"

She gives him a smirk of a smile, a way out in a non-answer. The woman's hands brush over Zack's chest before she moves to the side of the bed, looking for her clothes.

[bullet_holes]

"Yeah, but that's what happens with Turks, right?" he smiles back. His hands lingered on her skin as she moves away from him, sliding along until she's off of him. He sighs, pushes his bangs away from his face and stares at the ceiling for a moment.

He should just tell her it's over, now. Just end it, let them both leave the night with their dignity intact and they can get back to pretending they're both operatives working for Shinra.

"Hey, Cissnei..." he starts. What was he going to say? How do you say 'I have a girlfriend but I don't want to stop this but maybe we should?' He knew it was wrong. Wrong to Aerith and wrong to Cissnei, too. She deserved better than to be a girl on the side. "You wanna stay a little longer?"

Not what he should have said, but too late.

[crimsonguarddog]

"Always; There's never a break." Teasing words given as Cissnei slips on her panties, with all intent to go back home and shower before work started anyway. Dirty clothes now wouldn't matter, and really they only served to hide those couple of marks Zack had left, intentional on his part or otherwise.

Then he asks her that, and she pauses with her shirt in hand. After a moment the woman looks back at him, searching Zack's face for a reason with a calculated look of her own.

"You've never asked me that before." She stated, but it could be taken as an affectionate tease. It was always hard to tell when Cissnei tried to keep how she felt out of her voice, unsure of how she should be feeling right now. But she sits at the edge of the bed near where the SOLDIER was.

She knows better, Cissnei really does. And yet...

"Miss someone to share the bed with?"

They hadn't really made the best decisions in Costa De Sol, and clearly none any better after like now.